Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If it walks like a duck

They’ll Know We Are Christians By . . .

· … Our Absence from Movie Theaters

· … Our Disney Boycotts

· … Our Fish Decals

· … Our Tracts

· … the Absence of Alcoholic Beverages in Our Fridges

· Our Courtship

· the Clever Pop Culture Parodies on Our T-Shirts

· … Our Skepticism of Catholics

· Our Modest Swimwear

· Our Natural Family Planning

· … Our Nondescript Clothing

· … Our Street Preaching

· … Our True Love Waits Rings

· … Our Fight to Keep the Ten Commandments on the Courthouse Wall

· Our Condemnation of Those Who Disagree With Us

· Our Worship CDs

· ...Our Republican Bumper Stickers

· Our Love of Biblical Names

· Our Living Our Best Life Now

· Our Christian skate night

· Our Clever Church Signs

· Our Heroes

· Our Biblical Patriarchy

· Our Megachurches

· … Our 170-foot Crosses

· … Our Creationism Museums

· … Our Well-behaved, Repressed, Depressed, Perfectionist Children

· … Our Affinity for Discreet Gossiping

· … Our Phobia of Homosexuality

· Our Corporal Punishment

· … Our Denominational Splits

· … Our Belief in Manifest Destiny

· Our Hijacking Hit Songs and Making Them Ambiguously Christian

· … Our Single-Income Households

· … Our Bachelor of Arts In Humanities With a Concentration in Homemaking That Is Only Open to Women

· … Our Sunday Cafeteria Patronage

· … Our Strategic Muting and Fast-Forwarding While Watching Hollywood Movies

· Our “Jesus Is My Girl/Boyfriend” Music

· … Our Ignorance of Our Own Church’s History

· … Our Support of the Death Penalty

· Our Cabbage Patch Bonfires

· Our Unaccredited Institutions of Higher Learning

· Our Non-sexual Crush on James Dobson

All sung to the tune of the antiquated, vapid song “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love.” (What a novel idea.)

We all need a little humor.

Got any other good ones?

1 comment:

Daniel said...

Whoever started the "clever church sign trend" is probably also the person responsible for I think there should be a multi-church national meeting to put and end to it once at for all. Maybe put something informative on those signs, or an inspiring verse/psalm?

This is one of my favorites if you haven't seen it. Not a song, but still great.