If it walks like a duck

They’ll Know We Are Christians By . . .

· … Our Absence from Movie Theaters

· … Our Disney Boycotts

· … Our Fish Decals

· … Our Tracts

· … the Absence of Alcoholic Beverages in Our Fridges

· … Our Courtship

· … the Clever Pop Culture Parodies on Our T-Shirts

· … Our Skepticism of Catholics

· … Our Modest Swimwear

· … Our Natural Family Planning

· … Our Nondescript Clothing

· … Our Street Preaching

· … Our True Love Waits Rings

· … Our Fight to Keep the Ten Commandments on the Courthouse Wall

· … Our Condemnation of Those Who Disagree With Us

· … Our Worship CDs

· ...Our Republican Bumper Stickers

· … Our Love of Biblical Names

· … Our Living Our Best Life Now

· … Our Christian skate night

· … Our Clever Church Signs

· … Our Heroes

· … Our Biblical Patriarchy

· … Our Megachurches

· … Our 170-foot Crosses

· … Our Creationism Museums

· … Our Well-behaved, Repressed, Depressed, Perfectionist Children

· … Our Affinity for Discreet Gossiping

· … Our Phobia of Homosexuality

· … Our Corporal Punishment

· … Our Denominational Splits

· … Our Belief in Manifest Destiny

· … Our Hijacking Hit Songs and Making Them Ambiguously Christian

· … Our Single-Income Households

· … Our Bachelor of Arts In Humanities With a Concentration in Homemaking That Is Only Open to Women

· … Our Sunday Cafeteria Patronage

· … Our Strategic Muting and Fast-Forwarding While Watching Hollywood Movies

· … Our “Jesus Is My Girl/Boyfriend” Music

· … Our Ignorance of Our Own Church’s History

· … Our Support of the Death Penalty

· … Our Cabbage Patch Bonfires

· … Our Unaccredited Institutions of Higher Learning

· … Our Non-sexual Crush on James Dobson

All sung to the tune of the antiquated, vapid song “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love.” (What a novel idea.)

We all need a little humor.

Got any other good ones?